family traditions

Today is aug 24 2009

Well today i went to take care of an interview with the Probation Dept.It`s finally coming to an end,the reason i write about it ,it put a strain on your family either you like or not,is not a choice no more because i made the mistake or wrong choice and this are the final circumstances jail,probation,in patient,out patient or keep making the wrong choices,which at this point you don`t have too many. now there`s a lot of us stressing about our finances and style of living that we wish wherein`t this way(just getting by)everyday i go to sleep i think of how much worst things could be and it gives me some comfort knowing just that ,remember when you get to a certain age range the choices are limited because the consequences are greater.Is good to come home and kiss your love ones and knowing you are doing everything possible not to hurt them emotionally no more,it feels great to be the one out of the microscope. Wow! i never knew i could put in writing so much of me,the other day i wrote about my gran kids an it was very fulfilling to say the least,also i went by my fathers home and talk to my great step mom and she cried about a situation at my fathers,which i replied to as "some people change for the better and some for the worst" she understood what i meant,but it breaks my heart seeing her crying.I never understood why people are so miserable with themselves and in return take it out on someone else that loves them.One of the reasons i write this blogs is for myself(cleansing).Sometimes in your life with family it feels very lonely it`s crazy but that is the way i feel at times,cause the ones that could help you can`t even approach them,cause you are risking insult,criticism,denial,be-Little and rejection.I wish i never had to resort to any negative ways but when you are the head of your unit(fam) is very hard to go without knowing very well someone could help or are in the position of doing so,what you do ?who you ask?when is the right time?is very humbling what i am going tru right now.I have always been the hands on tipe of person but it`s not so right now.Well my friends thanks for listening ciao!