i will never try to go that away as long as i live is very degrading,for years i never ask no one for shit and i have a lapse on judgment and i am chastised for it .I will try as long as i live not to be that person,because when you truly love some one you don`t treat them like dirt.I love my kids they haven`t been the perfect ones but they still my seed and if i stay with nothing for helping them become a better person i will to an extend ,i don`t assume people that only love and care for themselves get what i mean,i dont know if i will ever come out of this mess but i have to stop hurting my self and my love ones(wife) everyday i see it more that the only ones that care for me is my wife and my kids,other people like my father i don`t think he knows what truly loving someone means,i will never in my life will bother him for anything after this time and believe me i done everything but sell my things and that my friends is my next step because in his eyes it was drug money what got it!i know i should not let this things be dictate by this things but you i am to the point of fuck it ,please excuse my language i have lost it as far as this issue is concern GOD PLEASE SHOW ME THE WAY!.I really think he will be happier if i lost everything so he could have the last say-"i told you so".It has been a lot grief in my part this last 2 years and i don`t know if this is the beginning of the end but you will be the first one to know (whomever is out there) you have been my only source of relief,it`s sad when the only one that you could talk to is a computer keyboard and screen is unreal but it is mine!Well my friends i will let you know the ending of this family tradition?
3/8/2011
Hello blogger ,family,friends and anyone interested in Reading about issues that concern us as family.I have always said don`t criticize or comment cause God has a funny way of getting even and leveling the field.Just the other night i received a visitor from Florida and it was a nephew that is giving problems to his parents (cousin),so here it is God `s way of making things level for all.One time i need it his help in a similar matter and he did not dare to discuss it with his wife and said that he could not help cause he was going tru something similar himself which i understood and i am OK with it,his wife likes to use people when she needs to, which i don't agree with it.So now is time to be right and she still not true about the intention with the young man which is still my nephew ,but here lies the problem i was told by a close family member suggested that now it `s not the right time for other reasons which i won`t discuss here or anywhere cause is up to them to be honest!!!how can we help or be of help when no one is being honest ,i got my own issues with my young men(son) and home and health,there are other members willing to help but on there terms which are to follow,but they are making difficult by not being honest so there it is in a nutshell,the kids behaviour sometimes is our doing and sometimes is not but you don't give to other family your problem with out being honest or i am wrong?.....i have dealt with my problem straight on, it hasn`t been easy and is still not easy,but i decided when they become men is theirs to go on with their life's with our blessings and may GOD help them and watch over them,,me i am trying to stay alive so i could see my gran kids grow and become man & women at least graduate from HS,due to my health issues is hard but hopeful.And to my cousin and his kids God bless you and them.
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